Understanding...

Please. Before you begin this read—before any opinions are formed about me, or about my convictions or beliefs, before you get mad I want to set the tone for this blog.  I am not coming at anyone out of anger or hatred, but rather gentleness and a hope for peace.  Please know that I have spent time on my knees in prayer for you.  For us.  I may not know all of your names, but I prayed for you nonetheless.  I may not know your circumstance—much like you may not know mine—but I know someone who knows you and it was to him I prayed.  Please know, although you may not understand, that I love you—anonymous you.  I empathize with how hurts, poor decisions and even joys and great decisions shape us.  I have put sincere effort into understanding motivations.  But most of all—please understand I am not judging you.  I have no grounds to point a finger because I have a murderous, adulterous heart.  I have no resources to cast condemnation.

It is my goal to try to get some empathy from you, my fellow women.  I want to try to explain where I am coming from in an effort to get you to understand, not change your mind or your heart.  Just simply understand.  Just to “get me” and all the many other sisters who feel the same way—and in doing so, maybe we can begin to at least get along and not spew so much venom at each other.


Every opinion or conviction I hold, every step or decision I make, I strive to walk in what, for me, is my moral compass—Holy scripture.  Having stated that—I understand that there are many people who do not ascribe any worth to the Bible.  But to understand us, you need to know that’s where we get our convictions that hold us so strongly.  We believe that the Word of God became flesh and his name is Jesus.  And scripture is more than just a good suggestion for happy living—it is in itself Life.

For just a moment, remove any of your ideas about what Christianity is and start with a clean slate.  If you open up this book, you will find a moral code that teaches that life begins in the womb. (Galatians 1:15; Psalm 139:13-16) Whether you agree with that teaching or not—that is where I base my opinion on abortion from and the conviction holds me.  If I truly believe this — which I do— how can anyone expect me not to care?  

We are women.  I have noticed in my short life that we have several things (for the most part) in common by design.  One of which is a maternal instinct.  Even those of us who do not have children would lay down our life to protect a child, any child in an instant of danger.  I have seen women sacrifice their lives (their wants, needs, freedoms, dreams, futures) for children they never gave birth to.  It’s in us to mother and protect—again for the most part.  Anyone, everyone would be broken if someone lined up  two-year-olds and slaughtered them.  Please, please, please understand—this is how I feel about unborn life. You may not agree.  You may think this is ridiculous.  However, it holds me and will not release me nor do I want it to.   And to expect me not to care?  It is impossible.

However, and this is important:  I equally care for you, those who disagree with my convictions.  Even though I believe ending a life in the womb is terribly wrong, I know that God loves the people who have made the decision or who believe it is their right.  Because he loves you, I do too.   If or when regret and pain invade your heart and soul because of this decision remember God loves you and desires for you to run to him for your comfort.  

I have never believed that anyone changes from the outside in.  Internal change in a person’s attitude ALWAYS comes from a change of heart.  Something I do not have control over. In fact, it is none of my business.  It is an issue between the Maker and that person.  Therefore, I do not think that yelling will ever impress anyone into a change of attitude, in fact, I believe that it deepens the anchor.  That is why I try to default to pray.  When I see hatred spewing toward me because I hold a different view, I try to remember to pray before I react.  And when I do, I see the person, not their actions and remember there is no joy in anger.

To my sisters in Christ who are burdened over this division in our country, let us commit to pray instead of complain.  Empathize instead of criticize.  Love instead of hate.  
“But I say to you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.” Luke 6:27

I Forgive.

I have been a student of forgiveness for nearly 33 years.  From the time Christ called me it was the first thing He began to deal with and we still have frequent lessons on the subject.   As I learned how to forgive I came to realization that forgiveness has absolutely nothing to do with the person who has wronged us.  Absolutely.  Nothing.

The person is not required to be sorry.  He is not obligated to apologize.  He does not even have to acknowledge his offense or admit he was wrong.  He can go about his life without showing any remorse or regret for having abused, molested, offended, hurt, stolen from us, murdered, lied about, betrayed—you get the picture.

Forgiveness has absolutely nothing to do with the offender—and everything to do with us.  We are required to forgive. (Matthew 6:14; Matthew 11:26).  And why wouldn’t we want to?

Unforgiveness in our hearts is like a cancer that rots and infects all areas of our lives.  It makes us utterly miserable and out of touch with love of Christ.  Eventually it will ruin us—just as all sin does.

Over the course of my life I have been cruelly abused — sexually and emotionally.  Before Christ rescued me, I was a festering in a cesspool of unforgiveness; swimming in thoughts of revenge, hate and even murder.  I was a fake person, hiding what I really felt about life and my abusers.

Christ lifted me out of that filthy, lonely place and slowly began to wipe away the muddy bitterness.  He literally saved me from what I would have been had He not taken notice of me.  

Jesus dealt with my unforgiveness and taught me how to walk in that path.  It is process. It is an attitude.  

 It is not simply a moment in time that one says “I forgive you” and that is that.  It does begins that way—with a choice to forgive.  But it continues on a course of constantly choosing to forgive.  And depending on the offense it may take a long time for the process to be complete—possibly a lifetime.

I’ve heard people say, “I forgive them—but I will never forget.”  Why not?  God did.

Scripture tells us He takes our sins and drops them into the Sea of Forgetfulness and He remembers them no more.  It is not that God has a lapse of memory.  The idea here is He doesn’t choose to recall it.  He chooses not to visit it or live there.  He chooses not to dwell on it.  He doesn’t dig it up out of the water to look at it again and again.  He chooses not to make our offenses His way of life.  And if we are Christ followers—we must follow Him in this example.  

Now what I am not saying is that we must again put ourselves in a situation to be abused, molested, insulted—whatever—again.   If someone comes into your home and steals from you, you do not hand them the keys to your house.  Forgiving someone and trusting someone are two very different things. And although an act of forgiveness can work a miracle sprouting a relationship that results in trust it would take time and testing.

God instructs us to forgive our transgressors because He knows it benefits us.  And He loves us too much to let us sink in bitterness when He has so much more for us.  He wants to develop our character to resemble Christ.  So that we can serve Him and be an example to a lost world.  

Forgiveness has absolutely nothing to do with the offender.  It has everything to do with us and our relationship with Christ.  It is liberating—why wouldn’t we want to be free?

Rachel Weeps Again

It is not my intention to make anyone angry, although this blog will, I am sure.  Before you continue reading, please whisper a prayer for wisdom.  My humble prayer is God will use this as a call to repentance--not to inflame or spark hostility.

Along with the rest of America, and possibly the world, I have spent the past few nights awake, stressed and teary-eyed.  Reality has shown me the limits of my own imagination, as I cannot possibly conceive the evil it would take to slaughter the innocents at Sandy Hook Elementary this week.  My heart is heavy and sick because of this black tragedy.

At one point in one of my sleepless nights, God reminded me this is not the first time in mankind's history that this has happened.  In fact, it happened during the time after the birth of Christ in order to stamp out God's plan for man's salvation by an evil King.  That same demon that swam through the veins of King Herod reared his ugly head again in Connecticut.

When we give evil a foothold, we cannot be surprised when it grabs us with a strangle hold to choke the life from us.  In America, we have given evil more than a foothold.  We have swung wide the front door and invited it in and offered it coffee.

When I started Kindergarten, every morning we said the Pledge of Allegiance (under God was not an issue) and opened our day with prayer.  Our Christmas programs had songs about Baby Jesus, and no one complained.  When I graduated high school, our school song included lyrics thanking God for our school, we opened football games with prayer our commencement ceremony was filled with ponderings of God's plans for our lives.  No one complained.

Now, teachers fear for their job if they mention Christ in the classroom.  We call same-sex marriage okay.  And we legally kill our own children.  People are offended when we say Merry Christmas or "under God" in our pledge.  America is gradually removing all traces of Christ from our nation.

I wish there was away for everyone to clearly see the connection between the evil times we live in and our shutting God's ways out of our lives.  If you read scripture--it clearly states that a nation who turns it's back on Christ cannot survive.  I Corinthians 5 tells us that if a believer just simply refuses to quit living in sin that he will be turned over to Satan "so that his sinful nature will be destroyed, yet the spirit will be saved."  I believe the same ideal applies to our nation.  God is interested in our character--not our flesh.

I would expect to see more tragedies that knock us to our knees and steal our sleep at night.  Sin will always take with it the innocent along with the guilty.  My plea is this:  America please, let us return prayers to Christ to the school; let us call homosexuality wrong and not call it Holy Matrimony; let us return to the God of our salvation and not dilute our faith with other idols; let us quit killing our innocents; let us take better care of our homeless and poor; let us shred all forms of racism; let us love one another as Jesus loves us.

I pray for a supernatural comfort for all the parents, grandparents and families who lost children this week.  God loves your children very much.  Rest assured this did not take Him by surprise and He was prepared to offer His most heart felt welcome as your children arrived into his care.  May the warmth of His love surround and steady you in the days ahead.  You are being held high by millions of believers--draw close to Christ and be comforted.

I also pray for the families of those who lost a hero.  The teachers and staff who bravely protected those children at the cost of their own lives inspire all of us to rise up for good.  Be comforted in knowing that.  Help us to remember them forever.

I also pray for the many children left with fear and questions.  May the peace of God still their little hearts and protect their little minds.

And I pray for our nation.  May we repent.

"if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
II Chronicles 7:14

Lost In Thought

I was lost in thought one day and had a hard time finding my way back home from my journey.

I began thinking about the possibility of a culture that had no knowledge about God.  No knowledge about Christ and had never discovered the massive sacrifice that He had made, even for them, who knew nothing of Him.

And I wondered and supposed that a lone missionary traveled to their land equipped with only the Bible.  And all he did was present them with the book and its contents.  Suppose this missionary only read scripture to them, without any agenda, without any personal opinion, without any tradition, without any exterior regulations.  Suppose the only doctrine that was formed was what came to life from inside the covers of the Bible.

What if this culture's only vision of Christ came from scripture and simply from that they were able to clearly and concisely see how to be saved, how to develop as believers and grow in their faith.

Suppose the Holy Spirit taught them from the inside and the love of Christ naturally manifested itself on the outside because of the change in their hearts.

Can you see why I was lost in thought?  I have a feeling that the resulting church that would erupt out of such a pure education of God's word and would look nothing like our American Christian Church.

According to Christianity Today there are over 41,000 Christian denominations worldwide.  Forty-one thousand.  So many divisions from a faith that is supposed to bring unity.  Why?

I think I have found the answer--it is inside of me and my own attitudes toward worship and service.  In America especially, we are power-hungry and self-centered.  We want what WE want--even from the church.  That describes me.  I feel certain I am not the only one, especially as a listen to my fellow believers devour each other with their tongues and attitudes.  We can be mean in the name of God.  And although I do believe there are times for flat truth-telling no matter what the consequence--it needs to be based on scripture--not opinion, not tradition, not personal agenda to maneuver a more favorable climate for our climb to the top.

And we all want different things--which is why we have so many different denominations arguing about who is right concerning the things of God.

Whether it is a legalistic congregation that has a set of rules that are implied for one to fit within the boundaries of righteousness or a group of believers who are  free and unbound and imply that God has given them something that He has not given me--making them a little better than me.  I do not believe anyone has it 100 percent right--especially me.

We are more worried about appearances in our pseudo worship and our pseudo serving of the poor.  Our motivation is not altruistic.  If we serve God because we want praise, or because we want to be well thought of among our Christian peers, or because we think our works will earn us our salvation or out of guilt, or because we think it makes us better than our brothers (spiritual pride) --our motivation makes our work dead.  We need faith to breathe life into it.

The only motivation that matters is for the love of God.  That is the only thing that should make us get up and go to Sunday school.  Not guilt or duress.  Adoration and appreciation are the only things that should move us to worship--not because we like the song.  A desire to see a lost and dying found by our loving Saviour should be what prompts us to preach and serve and live a live of sacrifice--not having the most in VBS or high attendance Sunday.

You cannot change anyone from the outside in.  The change must come from the inside--and humans do not possess the ability to impress this kind of change on anyone--we can't even change our own hearts.  Christ and Christ alone is the one who changes the heart.  And when the heart changes--the rest will follow.


In John 12:32 Jesus said that when He is lifted up (on the cross) that He will draw all men to Him.  The only thing that we need to do is lift up Christ to His place of honor and glory in all our attitudes, work and worship and He will handle the drawing, the changing, the conversion of the lost.  How simple is that for us?  Lift up Jesus and He will draw all men to Him.

Christian v Christ Follower

From a young person at church last night:  "You do not have to follow Christ to be a Christian."  And although this person probably didn't mean it exactly the way it came out (I hope I hope), my observations lately among the American church would say that this is exactly what we think.  We have watered down the meaning of the word Christian to a point where it doesn't cost us anything to be one.

We are only interested in doing the bare minimum in order to escape the penalty of our sin--which is Hell.  We do not operate out of a motivation of love and devotion toward a holy God who launched a courageous and heroic campaign to save us from that penalty--simply because He loved us and we couldn't do it for ourselves.  Our motivation is to be comfortable, rich and content.

The truth is we MUST follow Jesus in order for Him to consider us His.  And His opinion is the only one that has any merit.  If He doesn't count us as a Christian, then it really doesn't matter if we think we are.

Being blessed with material wealth feels good to the flesh, but it doesn't do much for our spiritual health.  Most of us do not need to the point of crying out to God.  I believe that is why Jesus is moved to compassion for the poor, the brokenhearted, the weary--because they need and they know it.  

Look at your actions.  Are there any good deeds among them.  Are you loving God with all your heart, soul strength and mind?  Are you loving others like Jesus does?  What is your motivation for your service to others?  Is it to get a thank you, or a pat on the back, or to look good for your church buddies?  Or is is a swelling of desire in your being of appreciation and love, gratefulness and devotion to Christ because he first loved you and saved you?

Do not be deceived--you must follow Christ to be a Christian.

Luke 9:23 NKJV

Then He said to them all, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me."

Jesus

I saw that a neighborhood in Longview, Texas was causing a battle of the enlightened on Facebook today.  A picture showing a red and white yard sign that simply read "Jesus" was the topic of a post by a local news station.  The post suggested that this particular neighborhood was protesting the construction of a Mosque by placing the Jesus signs in their yards.

This may or may not have been the intentions of the sign bearers.  Some may just be so excited about God that they planted a sign in their yard.

Opinions began to fly.  And armchair theologians along with well-meaning atheists fired up their keyboards to chime in their profound sentiments.  I read them all and then looked again at the photo.  "Jesus."

Sign posted in a yard in Longview, Texas

Many of the posts made the comments about Jesus' tolerance toward other religions and the worship of others and how mean Christians are by doing something as brazen as putting a Jesus sign in their yard.  It made me wonder what they were basing this opinion on.

"I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.  No one can come to the Father except through Me," Jesus.  Does that sound like religious tolerance? (John 14:6)

"You shall have no other gods before Me..." again, not very tolerant. (Exodus 20:3)

"I AM."  Not Allah, not your TV, not your boyfriend -- "I AM," God.  (Exodus 3:14)

"Worship the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind..."  (Matthew 22:37)

"I am the Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End..."  There is no other name by which we can be saved.  (Rev. 22:13)

Our sin state leaves us in such a dire way that nothing and no one can help us.  It is only by the way of a perfect sacrifice that provision for salvation can be made.  Jesus the Christ is the only one who is capable to provide that sacrifice, to pay that price.  He did for us what we could not do for ourselves.  He is intolerant of false religions because He knows they cannot provide the cost of our salvation.  He loves us and does not want us to be mislead.

His intolerance is formed out of a desperate love for us to know and accept the truth--not from hate.  And as believers and followers of Christ we must do the same.  There is a right way to show our love through intolerance.   I think displaying a Jesus sign in your yard is an amazing way to promote truth.  If people see that as a protest of a false religion--okay.

There is power in the name of Jesus.  The name alone can break one man's heart and incite anger in another, a fact that is clearly displayed on the news stations post.

A sign in someone's yard with simply the name "Jesus" on it is probably one of the most loving things they could say to me or to anyone.  The fact that so many people or offended by just the name posted in a yard makes me see how far we have fallen.  We are not becoming more enlightened, because we know that Jesus is the light of the world.  We are drifting into a darker mindset and most of us do not even realize it.

No matter how the Jesus signs make you react, one thing is certain, there will be a day when we all agree on who Jesus really is.

Never Too Young To Rebel

My relationship with my 14-month-old granddaughter Addison entered into a new plane today.  And I do not like it.  Babies are not born innocent the way we like to pretend they are.  Oh sure when they first arrive  they are tiny-- very easy to manipulate and control.  We dress them the way we want putting hair bows and what-not on them.  We hold them when we want for the most part.  Their demands are simple:  feed me, burp me, change me and let me sleep.  

The day Addison turned a year old I noticed a difference in her attitude.  It seemed she instantly developed a self-centered awareness coupled with a seed of defiance.  It was cute on her birthday.  And even cute since then.  After all, it is not my problem--it's her mom's and dad's place to correct her rebelliousness.

But today, that all changed.  You see I keep Addison Mondays-Fridays while my son and his wife work and I love it.  It's like I had a hidden calling in my heart that didn't become evident until she was born.  Today, both our hearts broke.  

She has a room at our house, with a bed and her toys, a chest-of-drawers with some clothes in it--her stuff.  And she knows it.  There is also a treadmill in this room which is not hers--and she knows it.  Even though it is unplugged, she is not allowed to play on it.  But today, she decided since it was in her room, it must be hers.  I walked into the room and she was standing on like she was about to start a 5K.  

"Addison, you know better," I said as I scooted her little bottom off the treadmill back to her side of the room to play with her toys.  

Ninety seconds later she was standing back on the treadmill.  When I saw her I remembered her middle name.

"Addison Elizabeth Haddox!  Did you hear what Bubbe said?"  I scooted her off and this time patted her leg for good measure.  She laughed.  Then she pointed her two inch long finger at me and shook it saying something that it is probably best I couldn't understand.  "Do not be a bad girl," I added not exactly sure what  the best course of action was.  After all, I wasn't sure what she had said.

Now with my son, at this age, I would have already beaten him and went about my business.   It is very different with grandkids. You want to pretend their motives are pure and innocent in every situation.  As I scratched my head wondering if I was getting my point across, I looked up and she was on the treadmill.

"Addison get off the treadmill," I commanded firmly in the most authoritative voice  as I looked down at her.  She didn't budge, but instead gave me a look that would put most teenage girls to shame.  She was dripping with defiance and it was obvious in her eyes that she was not giving in.  I repeated myself not wavering from my position as the Bubbe.  

However, instead of getting down off the treadmill she turned her little back to me and stood there.  I couldn't believe it.  I calmly walked over and turned her around and swatted her diaper five times --which I can promise you hurt me more than her.

I had made my point.  She cried heartfelt tears.  And so did I.  

We are all naturally rebellious.  We do not have to teach our kids how to be bad--it comes naturally.  We are born in to a greasy sin nature and Addison's countenance today reminded me of mankind's helplessness.  Without Christ's intervention at the cross we would be stuck in that state, with no future.  

He provided us with the sacrifice required to redeem us from that pit by leaving his throne in Heaven, living a sinless life and willingly suffering and dying, shedding his blood.  And then he kicked death in the teeth when God resurrected him from the grave.

All because of love.  He loves us.  And if you believe, trust and repent and follow you are counted among the redeemed.

But sometimes, we believers act like we do not belong to him turning away, rebelling.  We desire what we want and we do not care what God thinks.  Kinda like Addison wanting on the treadmill, not caring what I thought.  In such cases, a little swat on our diapers will be in order.  Scripture tells us God chastens the ones he loves.  God is more concerned with our character than our flesh.  

My prayer for Addison is for God to capture her heart and make her his own.  That she will learn right from wrong and fall in love with right.  And that she follow Jesus where ever he leads her.

My prayer for me is the same.